


Sober

by Kimbakimothy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Healing, Heartbreak, Letters, Moving On, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimbakimothy/pseuds/Kimbakimothy
Summary: "I lost my friends, my parents, and my boyfriend all in the blink of an eye. That's not normal."Chrysanthemum survived the snap, but lost her parents, her friends, and her boyfriend: Peter Parker. Now she's been taken in by Pepper Potts and Tony Stark, and while attempting to cope with everything that has happened Pepper makes a suggestion. So, she starts writing Peter letters.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. One Week: 7 June 2018 (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,  
> I had this idea while listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Sober". So I decided to give it a shot. It's been a few years since I've truly sat down to write anything.  
> This is just the prologue, but I hope you enjoy it.

Dear Peter,

It has been 7 days since I was standing in the hallway with MJ and Ned and then suddenly I wasn’t. I mean, I was still there in the hallway at school, but suddenly I was alone. My friends who I hold so dear were just gone, dust in the wind (air conditioner? You know what I mean, I guess now is not the time to truly get technical is it?). Either way, they were gone, as was half of the school. The principal was gone as well, so the teachers who were left decided to send us home for the day. Of course we were all panicking, half the people we all knew seemingly just turned to dust out of nowhere. Or at least that’s what we all thought when it happened.

I rushed home, praying to anything that would listen that my parents would be there to welcome me home like they always were, but I think I knew in my gut they wouldn’t be. Nor would they pick up their phones when I tried to call them for the next hour.

So my next thought was you. Were you okay? Last I had seen of you, you were swinging off towards a giant spaceship. I figured you probably didn’t have time to send any of us a message while dealing with whatever had been happening, as Ned and MJ hadn’t heard from you either. So I packed my duffle with some clothes and made my way through the throngs of panicking people in the streets to your apartment.

Aunt May is gone too, by the way. I spent the whole night on your couch waiting for one of you to come home. When no one showed up by the next morning I called the emergency number you gave me and by some grace of god Pepper Potts, of all people, answered the phone.

I am so eternally grateful for Pepper. She and Happy came to pick me up before we made our way to the Avenger’s facility. We happened to beat the other Avengers to the facility and when they walked in, my heart dropped.

I spent the rest of that day learning about what had truly happened.

I knew what you were doing was dangerous, Peter, but jesus fucking christ, you fought a homocidal alien man who wanted to wipe out half the universe???? No wonder you didn’t want to tell Aunt May about everything. I can just imagine her putting your suit down the garbage disposal if she knew. I’m both incredibly proud of you and incredibly angry that you put yourself in the middle of everything.

Honestly, at this point I don’t actually know if you’re alive. Steve (it is so strange to call him that, especially because I know you’ve not had the chance to meet him as Steve yet, you still just know him as Captain America) said that until further notice we are declaring you, Tony, and a guy named Steven Strange “missing in action”. It’s a strange phrase, and definitely not something I’d say in reference to you normally. I think you’d probably joke and say that you’d prefer “unknown location: last seen kicking ass” or something like that. That’s lame, and I’m sure you’d definitely come up with something better but that’s the thing.

You’re not here.

We don’t know where you are.

All I know now is that Pepper agreed to take me in. She’s going to be my legal guardian for now. Is that strange? I guess all of this is strange. I just turned 16, I should be worrying about my grades, and junior year, and planning our next date. It’s not normal for me to have just lost half of everyone I know. I lost my friends, my parents, my boyfriend and all in the blink of an eye. That’s not normal.

None of this is normal.

But then I guess dating a superhero wasn’t normal to begin with.

Natasha has taken a liking to me by the way. I think she needs someone to take care of right now, because she’s definitely become like an aunt in this strange arrangement that has begun to form between myself and the remaining Avengers.

I don’t know why I told you that. I think I’ve run out of things to tell you at this point.

Honestly I don’t know why I wrote you this letter to begin with.

It was Pepper’s suggestion.

I think she’s worried about me. I have been a bit sad since everything happened, but then who hasn’t been? It’s not my fault. How else is anyone supposed to react to losing people they love, let alone losing four, possibly five, at once.

They canceled the rest of the school year, I guess they needed to reassess everything. I’m not too worried, my grades were impeccable this year. I guess I owe MJ a thank you?

I dunno, I think I’ve run out of things to say so I’m just blathering on about whatever comes to mind at this point.

I guess the only true thing I have left to say is I love you Peter, and I miss you. A week is far too long to go without seeing you.

Come home soon,  
Chrys

PS I debated signing my whole name because I feel like that's what you're supposed to do when writing letters? But then like why would I??? You know how much I hate my name. Who names their daughter Chrysanthemum? It’s fucking atrocious and you know it. I know I’m preaching to the choir but Jesus, what were my parents thinking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,  
> So if everything goes to plan, this story will have 12 main chapters, excluding the prologue and epilogue.  
> I think this idea came from the fact that I've always found it extremely healing to write when I'm feeling strongly.  
> In fact, I sat down to write this almost immediately after finding out that Chadwick Boseman passed away today.  
> As such I'd like to dedicate this to him. He was truly a superhero, both on screen and off screen. Rest in Power, King.
> 
> Please feel free to let me know if you find any mistakes or anything, and I always appreciate constructive criticism.  
> Also I promise I have nothing against the name Chrysanthemum, I tried to name my first dog Chrysanthemum, but my mom wouldn't let me, so instead I used the name on a character. Take that mom.


	2. Three Months: 30 Aug 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve been putting off writing this. I don’t know why because I know it might help me feel better. The last letter did, but this time is so much worse.
> 
> You’re gone.
> 
> Dust in the actual wind this time, except that wind was on another planet.

Dear Peter,

So I’ve been putting off writing this. I don’t know why because I know it might help me feel better. The last letter did, but this time is so much worse.

You’re gone.

Dust in the  _ actual _ wind this time, except that wind was on  _ another planet. _

Tony made it back, along with a cyborg kind of alien girl named Nebula. Turns out Dr. Strange and four others were lost as well, but I didn’t care. As soon as I heard you were gone and saw Tony look at me with absolute pity in his eyes I walked away. I didn’t want his pity, I just wanted you.

I’d spent the month before Tony returned denying the possibility that you were gone, because even though I knew--because I absolutely knew, deep down--I just couldn’t let myself believe it without crashing and burning completely. So as soon as he returned and we locked eyes, I knew. I knew you were really gone.

And suddenly I was  _ so unbelievably mad. _

I was mad at Tony. How did he survive when you didn’t? It’s not fair.

I was mad at Thanos, at whatever gave him the idea that the world would be a better place without my loved ones. Who gave him the right? And I know that he didn’t pick and choose who disappeared, but still: why did he feel that he had the authority to kill half of all living creatures????

And now, I’m going to tell you something that truly pains me, because I hate feeling this way. I am so  _ furious _ with you. It is the most illogical thing ever. Why am I so angry with you? It’s not like you stepped in the way and got yourself killed. You literally were just randomly chosen, the same way MJ and Ned were, and my parents, and Aunt May.

The other anger has faded. Tony and I made up almost immediately. When I finally calmed down enough to go see him, I found out he had nearly fainted in his own anger after he and Steve got into it. I’ve been told they do that a lot. He was asleep for a while and Pepper stayed by his side the whole time until he awoke again, and when he did, the first thing he said to me was, “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save him.”

I’m pretty sure that’s the first time anyone besides Pepper Potts has truly seen Tony Stark cry. I could be wrong, but I like to think of it that way, because if that’s the case then that makes me even more special than I already was. Either way, I also cried like a baby, because that was the moment I truly realized that you mean just as much to Tony as you do to me, and while I lost a boyfriend, Tony lost someone he saw as a son.

Anyways, Pepper  _ and _ Tony have taken me in now.

I’m literally living your fucking dream.

I might as well be the Avengers little sister at this point.

So the other Avengers left soon after Tony came back and when they returned I found out why.

They killed Thanos, but Thanos had already destroyed the stones.

I found those out in quick succession and the emotions I felt in those moments were so overwhelming that I didn’t know what to do.

So I sat and I wept.

At least I had had the hope that  _ if _ they had found Thanos, they’d have the ability to reverse what he had done, but suddenly that hope was gone.

There was nothing.

Distraught. Surprise. Hopeless.

But above all was anger.

Because that motherfucker not only took all of the most important people in my life, he also destroyed any hope that this would all be a dream where the last month of my life at that point could all become one of those things.

You know what I’m talking about. That thing where you turn to your friends and laugh because, “oh my god do you remember June? The month when half of the beings in the universe turned to dust? Yeah how crazy was that? Glad that’s over.”

But it’s not over, it’s just beginning.

None of you are coming back.

It’s been really hard to admit that.

I guess that’s why I’m writing this letter? Aside from some kind of incessant need to still let you know what’s been happening in your absence.

I love how I say that as if you’re just gone for a year or something--just goes to show that I still can’t fully admit that you’re all gone.

Anyways, I’m over Thanos. The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve my anger or anything from me. But you: you deserve all of my emotions.

Why the fuck are you gone?

I know there is no logic in being mad at you, but I am.

Maybe  _ that _ is why I’m writing this letter?

Or maybe I just miss you  _ so much _ .

Of course I miss you.

School is about to start again. They’re making us go on even though I’m sure none of us are truly ready to go back. It’s like some strange sort of PTSD. We were all traumatized that day when half of humanity disappeared before our very eyes. But I guess life goes on, with or without those who are ready to go along with it.

It will be so strange not seeing you or MJ or Ned there every day.

God, Thanos couldn’t have left me just one friend to lean on?

What a fucking bitch.

Missing you every day,

Chrys

PS: I guess I’m still not actually over the whole Thanos thing am I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it’s been so long. I have a fucking weird writing process where I write something then wait a while till I forget what I wrote and go back and read it to see if I still like it. So it can take a while for me to post new chapters. If that’s an issue I’m so sorry I’m gonna try and update more but for now I can’t guarantee a schedule.  
> I do want to say thank you so much for reading! I hope you stick around I have so many story ideas that I’m hoping to get down and post soon for you guys! I hope you enjoyed as well! I know this story is really heavy because it’s all about healing and moving on, but I appreciate y’all sticking around and reading the second chapter!  
> Leave a comment and kudos if you like, if not that’s cool too but I’m always open for constructive criticism.


End file.
